Housefly
Silly, sad, and sentimental,
I had a three day pet.
He was just a common housefly,
How lonely can one get?
He followed me from room to room,
He sat upon my head!
He tried to lick my supper plate,
But I shooed him off instead.
He was the only pet I had,
So fifty fifty what to do?
He was just a pesky housefly
When into my cup he flew!
I clapped my hand down on the top
And trapped him good and well.
I shook the cup for quite a bit,
And rang him senseless as a bell.
Silly, sad,and sentimental,
I took him to the loo,
Flushed him down our tidy bowl,
Without too much ado.
He was in truth a three day pest,
But not a nuisance only;
I’m sad I flushed him far away,
For once again I’m lonely.
God appears in many forms,
In puzzles and conundrums;
This time he buzzed in happily,
Though I offered no bread crumbs.
I offered no bread crumbs, you see,
Because he oft offended me;
Thus I sent him on his way—
Perhaps I should have let him stay.
If this bit of verse sounds as though it was based on a true story, well, of course it was. I admit I developed a little affection for the bug over the three days he inhabited my room with me. Once or twice he even landed on my computer screen but seemed totally oblivious to me. I tried to catch him several times but he easily evaded me. When he landed in my empty coffee cup I proved quicker than he was. What I didn’t say in the verse was that I also quickly spit a mouthful of water into the cup, hoping that would help keep him there.
When I removed my hand and peered down into the cup, he was conscious, flapping his wings busily, and looking like a small motor boat, somewhat out of control and moving in swift circles on the surface of the water. I concluded that if he could survive having his bell rung and avoid drowning perhaps he could survive an intense flushing. The last I saw he was motor-boating around the surface of the toilet water just as he had the water in the cup. Thus I pulled down the handle and saw him disappear in a fast swirling whirl pool. He seemed a hardy creature; I rather hope he survived.
The problem with houseflies as pets is that you never know what they have been standing on and eating outside before they found their way inside, if you know what I mean. In the past I had cleaned up the yard too often to be optimistic about that. Thus it was finally thumbs down for the little guy. Alas.
Of course as I was sitting in the bathroom last night, I saw this large black spider with about seventy legs dash across the floor and disappear under a pile of folded up rugs. God willing she will stay in the bathroom and not visit my room and drop on me in the middle of the night. Still, a pet’s a pet until it bites you in the middle of the night, especially one with seventy legs and numerous numerous eyes.
les
